Shopping for an offshore vendor is unforgettable experience even if you are looking for relatively small contract. Where else an IT manager would be a subject to such royal treatment? Every time when I face a dubious pleasure of vendor shopping I keep reminding myself that it is probably one of the best parts of outsourcing. And there is always something fun to remember about those trips. Not long ago I was in Pune, India meetings with Satyam – one of the top tier outsourcing firms. The lobby of Stayam’s office was decorated with welcome slogans, flowers and colored sand “paintings” on the floor. There were four of five executives greeting me, all holding high positions in the company. They shook my hand with impressive enthusiasm. A few women dressed in saris welcomed me with large bouquets of roses. While a photographer jumped around taking pictures of this one-of-a-kind event one of the execs whispered in my ear that this was unusually flamboyant greeting that they only offered to utmost important guests. After a few more awkward moments we moved to the conference room with maybe 20 execs and managers. The power point parade began after 30 minute round of “quick” introductions. 15 min into presentation I noticed that older execs started to fall asleep, most with their eyes opened; the skill I always wanted to master. A couple hours later I was exposed to more glorious aspects of the company history and abilities than one can possibly tolerate. By that time I knew for sure that no company in the world comes close to Satyam in terms of quality of the resources, ingenuity of leadership and reliability of its management. Speaker after speaker we were moving down the agenda of what was called out as a brief discussion of the company’s capabilities. Lunch, a buffet of monumental proportions, was a welcome break then an hour later and a few pounds heavier I was back to the power point water-boarding. But I was adapting, it seemed that finally I was getting the grip on the art of sleeping while actively participating. Unfortunately the photographer woke me up. He brought me a CD with my pictures. I put it in my laptop to bring back fading memories of the morning. Here they were: the lobby, execs, saris, roses… Alas, the victims of the greeting ceremony were two strange guys wearing suites and all American smiles. For some reason I did not feel that special anymore. Yet so happy as that little excitement saved me from immanent death by power point.